In this TED talk Amanda Palmer talks about the encounters she has with people on the streets when she used to work as a statue. She then talks about how her band, The Dresdon Dolls, used to couch surf while touring. She speaks of how easy it was to instantly get what she asked for after putting it out there on Twitter. What I want to highlight from this TED talk is the neighborly gestures Amanda and her band encountered simply by just asking. Do these gestures really exist anymore?
My answer to that question is yes but with the exception of where you're located and what the culture is within that location. I solo traveled last Summer to a handful of states in the Western region of the United States and what I realize is that there exists a plethora of cultures. I've had positive encounters with almost everyone I've spoken to with the exception of a couple of road rage creeps. You see, before this trip I really knew of only my culture. For those of you who do not know me, I'm a California native, born and raised in Southern California. Need I say more? The culture here is very different from other regions. I don't want to bash the area I live in because I absolutely love the beaches here in Southern California. However, correct me if I'm wrong, but to live in Southern California is like being in a club where you have to meet certain high standards and criteria, otherwise you aren't welcome. Genuine, neighborly encounters are rare here in Southern California and if you do encounter it, it's usually strings attached. When you do get a genuine and neighborly encounter, you have to wonder or even ask, "Where are you from?" You may be reading this and also be a Southern California native and completely disagree with me. I say to that, "That's ok! Everyone's experience and perspective is different." Going back to Amanda Palmer's couch surfing encounters though. I've never done couch surfing before, however, with this trip I took, I had very similar welcoming experiences. For example, in Montana I came across a couple who were backpacking on their bikes, on their way to Yellowstone. They had rented out a cabin and I had rented out a tipi. The man who rented out the tipi to me, Jacque, was so welcoming and started a fire for me so I can make s'mores. The couple saw the fire, came over and just started talking to me. They asked so many questions. At first I had my guard up, thinking I had to lie about my whereabouts and next plans. Come to find, they were the friendliest folks. Next thing you know they poured me some wine, I offered them s'mores, and we're all just sitting there around a campfire, in the forest of Jacque's property, with his two dogs running around, the creek running parallel to us, and a family of deer in the distance, talking about our adventures. While in Utah I was on a hike and met a father and son on the trail. Somewhere along the way we started a conversation. Come to find out the father was a photographer. We ended up hiking the whole way up and down together. They waited for me and made sure I was doing okay the entire time. By the end of the hike I had learned all about their family and I had the best photos of me with incredible landscape in the background without having to use my selfie stick. When I hit Northern California I rented out a room from a lady by the name of Patrice. I rolled in around 9:30pm from Oregon and Patrice was waiting for me in the kitchen with fresh homemade sourdough pizza and beer! The next day I woke up and Patrice had made me homemade cookies and packed me lunch for my hike into the Redwoods! In Washington, I walked into a diner and one of the waitresses compliments me on my jeans. My beat up $14 jeans that I had gotten from Ross two years ago! I can go on and on and tell you so many more stories of these nice encounters. However, this blog is getting somewhat long and I don't know if you're still reading this or not. The point is, when I came back to Southern California I had such a free and open mindset and all I wanted to do was to sit down and hangout with people. When I reached Los Angeles I didn't want to come home to my lonely two-bedroom apartment, so I called up my friend Kesha and we googled for a Thai restaurant near by. As we walked in, with me in my hiking boots, my $14 Ross jeans, and tank, everyone in the restaurant turns their head and all eyes are on us. Everyone is in elegant evening wear and what you hear in the background is elevator music. Instantly I feel judged and think, maybe we should go somewhere else...however that free-spirited side to me said....nah who cares, you're here, you're hungry, you can pay, you have clothes on, let's eat! That's exactly what we did. We ordered food, we hung out, and no lie, it was the best Thai food I've ever had! I find some attitudes are uninviting and the standards of living are high here in Southern California. No, I'm not referring to rent. Sometimes I say "hi" to people and don't even get a "hi" back. When I go to the gym I feel like I'm in a contest to see who has the latest and greatest Lululemon gym wear on. If I go to work and choose not to wear make-up I get comments like, "Hey you look different today." That's not even a compliment! I mean what the heck is that supposed to mean? Or on the contrary, if I go to work dressed up with make up and have my hair down with curls I will usually get the double look at first, followed by comments like, "I didn't even recognize you! You look so different without your glasses." Yes people are friendlier to me when I do dress myself up. These encounters I have here are different from the ones in other regions. As you can see the culture to which I'm in quickly settles back into my life. Genuine and neighborly gestures like the ones that Amanda Palmer and I experienced do exist. In my opinion however, it depends on the culture in which you're located. Or is this just luck of the draw? Or my perceptions deceiving me. What do you think?
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